Helping your child choose their high school
Helping a child choose their high school is a delicate balance: providing structure without deciding for them. At 13 they need guidance, not a verdict handed down from above.
Your role: a compass, not a rudder
The temptation is strong: you have more experience, you want the best. But they're the ones attending school every morning for five years. If the choice is imposed, motivation collapses at the first obstacle. The parent's role is to give guidance and context, then let the decision feel like their own.
What to do (and what to avoid)
- Do: listen to what genuinely excites them, even if it doesn't match your expectations.
- Do: go to open days together and talk afterwards, calmly.
- Do: reason from their real grades, not the ones you'd like.
- Avoid: "back in my day" and comparisons with siblings or cousins.
- Avoid: pushing for prestige ("at least the liceo") while ignoring their inclinations.
- Avoid: passing on your own anxiety about the choice: theirs is enough.
Starting from data instead of impressions
Family discussions often slip into impressions and fears. Firmer ground is the data: grades, the subjects that light them up, what they picture doing. Having your child take an orientation test and looking at the result together shifts the conversation from "in my opinion" to "here's what your strengths say". For the full method, read how to choose your high school.
Frequently asked questions
What if my child has no idea what to choose?
It's the most common situation and shouldn't alarm you. Start from concrete data — grades and interests — and narrow the field step by step, with open days and conversations.
Should I go along with their choice even if I disagree?
Sharing doubts is fine; imposing your preference usually backfires. Lay out your concerns with concrete arguments, listen to their reasons, and look for common ground.